Student Guide to Tidewater, VA!

[TS]

Yorktown Barbie



Often fails at attempts to gain access to TRACEN while
offering tour guide services. Translation: Looking for a husband.

The modern day divorcee will have a Ford WindStar minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily on battlefield tour
roads and has no full-time occupation.

Caution: Her cell phone = danger.
Do not take her number. Do not give her yours. She will find you. She will never go away.

____________________________

Newport News Barbie



Recently paroled! Newport News Barbie is equipped with a 9mm handgun,
a 1990ish Chevy truck, lowered with dark tint windows, and a portable
meth lab.

She might be seen after dark and accepts only cash in small denominations
unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

_________________________

Suffolk Barbie
(insists she knows Kevin Henson from...?... somewhere)



Tobacco-chewing, brassy haired, and extremely unpredictable.
She lives in high heeled sandals with one broken heel from the night
she chased Ken out of Butler Industries following a class party.

Her ensemble includes low rise acid washed jeans, fake nails,
and a halter top. The mobile home belongs to her friend.

Will trade her Def Leppard CD for food.

_____________________________

Hampton Barbie



Complete with a stroller and infant. Optional accessories may
include a GED and bus pass. May be seen cruising the Denbigh
area with Gangsta Ken in his '79 Caddy, but it is not his child.

Food stamps suck. Stay in school. Drink milk, not mixed drinks.
____________________________

Sandbridge Barbie
(also Orange County Barbie)



Don't be fooled: Given the opportunity, this middle-aged yuppie
will make you late for class.

She comes with your choice of a BMW X5 or Hummer H2, her own
Starbucks cup, a gold card and a country club membership.

Forget it. Be on time for class. It is not worth getting kicked out
of school for. You can't afford her anyway.

_____________________________

Ghent Barbie



She has long straight brown hair, no makeup and Birkenstocks.
Nickname: Willow.

She does not want or need an Instructor Ken doll. She prefers
the company of strong willed Barbies and the comfort of her Subaru Outback.

Don't ask. Don't tell. Don't even think about it.

____________________________


Williamsburg Barbie



PERFECT in every way if you don't mind talking to a brick.

_____________________________

Gloucester Barbie



Easily identified at the Yorktown Pub by the Wrangler jeans that are
two sizes too small and the NASCAR t-shirt looking like it hasn't seen
the hamper in a couple weeks.

Watch your step. She may be on a bar stool or on the floor waiting
for help to get back on the bar stool.

Never without a six-pack of Bud Light, she can spit over 5 feet and kick
your butt after only two beers.

Help fix her pickup, but do not let her drive you home.

[Lilith]

that is TOO DAMN FUNNY!!!

you miss it here don't you TwoShots!!!!!!!

[Sean Willard]

TS:

Thank you! That was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. TC Yorktown was a great job, but I sure don't miss the area outside the gate.

Sean

[eddiejoe]

HE SHOOTS......HE SCORES!!!!

Gloucester Barbie reminds me of a few girls i went to HS with...

how brutally honest is this...ahhaahahaha...nice "shot"...(hehehe...i crack me up)

[norizzle]

thats awesome! but you forgot Virginia Beach and Chesapeake. easy on Chesapeake though, its my hometown

[TS]

Lilith,
Miss it? Only the students. Remember our conversation at your class party? Probably not. It was late, you were crispy and I was mesmerized by your roommate. Nice to know we all managed to survive in spite of ourselves.

Sean,
You're welcome. Stay warm, ay. To say MSD got lucky with Kristina is an understatement.

Rizzle......

Virginia Beach Barbie



Most think she keeps a clean apartment when in fact
she just can't spell fernachure... furniture or stay focused
long enough to buy fernnush... furnishings.

Whatever. You won't care about that or the obvious collagen
treatments when the lights go out.

HOWEVER, you will care when she arrives at TRACEN barracks
wearing leopard stretch pants holding a Bloody Mary and with
tears in her eyes, pouts "... but I lu -uu - uu - uuuvve you!"

Try to explain that to the School Chief.

___________________________________

Chesapeake Barbie



It's all about money. Shallow Ken is out earning a paycheck in high
stakes drug deals while this princess is lonely in her 25,000 sq ft. patio home.

Too much time and money invites nothing but trouble for young men in
uniform looking for a free weekend ride. Or rides?

Careful - The house, Lexus and dog are wired with cameras and Shallow
Ken doesn't like to share.

[Lilith]

oh TwoShots i remember our conversation, as i am eating some of my words from that evening survive we have!

[Tom818]

Good thing I was happily married everytime I went to Yorktown. That H2 kinda looked tempting. Not!

[RobCox]

I'm laughing so hard I just can't even draft a good response

[TS]

Poquoson Barbie



Stay focused: Don't be too busy looking for college girls at the Green Leaf when this
fun, creative, theater-going spirit is just around the corner!

Lonely and sweet, this gem wants to develop a relationship with depth that will
last far beyond graduation. All you have to do is find her.

Hint: Take a right at the 3rd light on 17 south. Look for the yellow VW
bug with a Visualize World Peas bumper sticker.

Tip: Don't blow it by asking for too much too soon. She is more interested
in your goals than the size of your... collar device.