Student Guide to Tidewater, VA!

[TS]

Yorktown Barbie



Often fails at attempts to gain access to TRACEN while
offering tour guide services. Translation: Looking for a husband.

The modern day divorcee will have a Ford WindStar minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily on battlefield tour
roads and has no full-time occupation.

Caution: Her cell phone = danger.
Do not take her number. Do not give her yours. She will find you. She will never go away.

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Newport News Barbie



Recently paroled! Newport News Barbie is equipped with a 9mm handgun,
a 1990ish Chevy truck, lowered with dark tint windows, and a portable
meth lab.

She might be seen after dark and accepts only cash in small denominations
unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

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Suffolk Barbie
(insists she knows Kevin Henson from...?... somewhere)



Tobacco-chewing, brassy haired, and extremely unpredictable.
She lives in high heeled sandals with one broken heel from the night
she chased Ken out of Butler Industries following a class party.

Her ensemble includes low rise acid washed jeans, fake nails,
and a halter top. The mobile home belongs to her friend.

Will trade her Def Leppard CD for food.

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Hampton Barbie



Complete with a stroller and infant. Optional accessories may
include a GED and bus pass. May be seen cruising the Denbigh
area with Gangsta Ken in his '79 Caddy, but it is not his child.

Food stamps suck. Stay in school. Drink milk, not mixed drinks.
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Sandbridge Barbie
(also Orange County Barbie)



Don't be fooled: Given the opportunity, this middle-aged yuppie
will make you late for class.

She comes with your choice of a BMW X5 or Hummer H2, her own
Starbucks cup, a gold card and a country club membership.

Forget it. Be on time for class. It is not worth getting kicked out
of school for. You can't afford her anyway.

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Ghent Barbie



She has long straight brown hair, no makeup and Birkenstocks.
Nickname: Willow.

She does not want or need an Instructor Ken doll. She prefers
the company of strong willed Barbies and the comfort of her Subaru Outback.

Don't ask. Don't tell. Don't even think about it.

____________________________


Williamsburg Barbie



PERFECT in every way if you don't mind talking to a brick.

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Gloucester Barbie



Easily identified at the Yorktown Pub by the Wrangler jeans that are
two sizes too small and the NASCAR t-shirt looking like it hasn't seen
the hamper in a couple weeks.

Watch your step. She may be on a bar stool or on the floor waiting
for help to get back on the bar stool.

Never without a six-pack of Bud Light, she can spit over 5 feet and kick
your butt after only two beers.

Help fix her pickup, but do not let her drive you home.